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Archive for the ‘Marriage’

Married Four Months and it’s over …

June 16, 2008 By: Trina Category: Article, Marriage, Author, Divorce, Christianity, Life, Church No Comments →

Over the last two decades, I’ve heard some interesting, ridiculous, strange and some sincere reasons for staying married and for getting divorced. I’ve met folks who stay married because of the kids. I’ve met folks who don’t get married because they would loose too much financially.

I’ve known single folks who really wanted to be married. They have had a strong desire for a companion which they had hoped they would find in marriage. I’ve also known single folks who were content and happy with their single lifestyle.

I’ve known married folks who really hated being married. They wish they didn’t have someone to go home to and someone to “report in” to each day. I’ve met parents who really hate being parents. They miss their days of “freedom”.

I’m thankful to love my husband. I’m thankful we are good to each other, care about each other and are supportive of each other. I’m grateful we appreciate each other, are kind to each other and truly want what is best for our marriage and life together. I’m thankful we’ve grown closer, grown together, changed and still embraced each other and we look forward to continuing to grow older together along with the changes it will bring.

I believe God has done something incredible and special in our marriage despite the fact that we do not have children in our home right now. I believe marriage CAN be a wonderful experience. I know it is worth the investment.

In a recent conversation, a young woman told me she had tried everything, even therapy and after only four months of marriage has filed for divorce. It’s a long story and there’s a lot to it. One party was not ready for marriage, one party has a really mixed up view of love, and one party has also watched too many soap operas, romantic movies and read too many romance novels. Both are selfish and do not have a balance of priorities. I have no idea if their marriage could ever make it if given a chance, but FOUR months?

What Do You Do With a Downer Day?

June 09, 2008 By: Cathi-Lyn Dyck, Managing Editor Category: Marriage, Parenting, Personality, Life, Failure, Off The Wall 1 Comment →

I dunno. Every so often, a day–or series of days–comes along that just drags at a person. It’s been that way lately. My summer schedule is full to bursting. I’ve had to opt out of some paying work, and I feel like the family-and-community to-do lineup is a thousand miles long.

I suspect I’m turning into my mother. As I write this, my first inclination is to make a list. Take it all down to size, prioritize, tackle. I’m not the list person. She is. Problem is, listing it sometimes just clarifies the problems, not the solutions.

A long list of disappointments lately–a list that’s very clear in my mind–doesn’t help. I got a solid dose of the flaws in some of my family relationships. There’s the ongoing internal conflict in our church. We also just received a “no” from a potential pastor who had seemed to be all “yes” up till now. It was a financially costly “no” to the church, and we’re going to have to answer some angry questions. At times like this, the responsibilities of our young family, jobs, and even little things like home maintenance just get to be a weight, rather than the privilege they should be to the two of us.

So, what do you do with a “downer” day? Make a list? Stay in bed? Go into denial and eat chocolate? Tackle the future with both hands and feet?

I’m sure there’s an interesting range out there. Gimme your thoughts.

Alarmed by the “Christian Subculture”

May 22, 2008 By: Trina Category: Writing, Ministry, Morals, Author, Article, Marriage, Faith, Religious Freedom, Values, God, Christianity, Religion, Church, Failure, Forgiveness, Life, Health, Music 1 Comment →

I spent one decade submerged into a subculture which I didn’t even realize existed at the time. As I found myself escaping the subculture, I realized I was living life only in the “Christian subculture“. Now, after spending a decade on the outside of the “Christian subculture“, I don’t consider myself bitter about the “Christian subculture” but alarmed about it! (more…)

When is enough … enough?

April 30, 2008 By: Trina Category: Vision, Donations, Ministry, Gardening, Values, Morals, Writing, Missions, Faith, Marriage, Religious Freedom, Human Rights, Article, Status, Unemployment, Failure, Forgiveness, Christianity, Poverty, Religion, Peace, Life, Africa, Grief, HIV, AIDS, God, Church 1 Comment →

The consumerism of our culture and my Christian faith often leave me pondering … “When is enough … enough?” We’re bombarded with advertisements and social pressures to have more, to have something bigger and better. Often times, when we do not have the latest style, the newest model, the larger home and the newer car, it leaves us feeling like we do not have enough.

I believe it’s great to enjoy the good things in life, which have different definitions for nearly each one of us. (more…)

Married and Looking

April 22, 2008 By: Trina Category: Faith, Marriage, Values, God, Life, Health 1 Comment →

By Trina Daniels

Married and looking was an appalling choice which was available as I signed up for a new networking account. Thankfully, there was a choice of married. I’m married. I’m happy. I am not looking. I think there should be a category Married and Happy, Married and Loving It or at least Married and Not Looking if the category Married and Looking is going to be offered.

I am glad to see more and more people, churches, organizations and even places on the web encouraging a healthy and happy marriage. All too often, we find ourselves living in a culture that is hostile toward marriage being a lifetime commitment between a man and a woman. We celebrate weddings and divorces almost equally. We hear about “good divorces” or even read in a marriage announcement “NOW he has the right woman” with a scripture reference.

I think marriage is a divine gift and the natural state of mankind. The first thing in creation that was not good was man’s aloneness. (Genesis 2:18, Genesis 21-25 The Message)

It’s not easy. We do not have a set of rules or comprehensive instructions. There’s not a manual to cover every situation we encounter. There’s not a way for my husband and I to be happy with each other at every moment. Our culture and our entertainment media teaches us that marriage is boring, bitter and we’re trapped. I’m tired of watching the marriages of my friends, family and acquaintances fall apart, while the latest hobby is finding unique and humorous ways to complain about our spouses.

I believe marriage is an enterprise worthy of pursuit and worthy of great investment. I will celebrate my marriage, share my joy with others and communicate things I’ve learned about being married. I hope to provide an opportunity for discussion for those who love marriage, value marriage, want to love marriage or want to be Married and Loving It! My favorite quote about marriage is by Martin Luther: “Let the wife make the husband glad to come home and let the husband make the wife sorry to see him leave” - and I’m not even Lutheran!


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